on saying goodbye

spent today in strange drunken and post drunken stages.

got intensely emotional and ended up driving drunk to mall to go stilletto shopping.

at 4pm.

am like alcoholic soccer mom/cliché of a woman/simmilar.

note:

do not try on high heels drunk.

also:

do not drive to mall drunk.

(or anywhere).

feel a mess, someone needs to slap self.

had to say goodbye today to a lot of people.

in a way has made the idea of leaving real.

cried like a little bitch after evryone left.

though am not ashamed;

am leaving behind some ace people.



(sister)





(best friends)



(animal)



(coworkers and bosses... nile lounge)

don't know how will tell mother goodbye.

you know those dreams you have

when you know you are going to die?

or you can feel a huge, impending change?

cannot seem to shake that feeling

that self was saying goodbye forever.

must remember:

four months is really not that long.

so will stop being a little pussy.

sorry.

ow, my head.

on routine landscaping

went to salon today in preparation for trip.

would like to take this time to personally thank the asian sensations that did my nails and waxed my eyebrows this afternoon.

no longer look like the missing link.

am pleased.

had not thought eyebrows were terribly bad prior to waxing, however now see error in own ways.

the following conversation ensued between "sue" (asian waxist) and self:

sue: YOU WAX FACE BEFO
me: uh...sometimes my eyebrows.
sue: REALLY? THEY LOOK SO NATURO
me: (embarrassed) well i've just been busy...
sue: THAT FINE

(pause, preparing wax)

sue: SO
....
sue: YOU HAVE BOYFRAND
me: oh, um. no.

(long, awkward pause.)

sue: IT OK. AFTER EYEBROW DONE YOU HAVE 12.


tipped her 5 bucks.

they look nice.

on visiting old people

today has been such balls.

had to go visit great aunt constantina

who is like

crazy.

to say bye before self departs to greece.

love her deeply but

she really has lost it.

she pulled out a folder with all these cut outs from these horrendous photos taken during my awkward years.

completely HIDEOUS.

thought those were burried in the misty fogs of time

but NOPE.

guess not.

whatever.

at least have had dose of insanity and now can move gracefully on with day.

on fleeing the country

so this sunday will leave for greece for four months.

great excitement for learning to become responsible, mature adult (or simmilar).

hope greek embassy in boston is not any indication of what to expect in terms of organization of nation and ease and speed in dealing with its inhabitants.

had hideous time trying to get student visa.

had not been as frustrated since time was lost in chinatown, nyc, when was 14 and had run into a man grilling an eel over a trashcan while being chased after another man selling crappy knockoff bags.

anyways, was surprised to see evil mastermind behind whole strife and near heart failure regarding student visa.

was typical elderly greek woman.

black tunic and all.

literally looked like this:



the woman responsible for ensuring my safe and legal entry into greece for studies.

....

she legit looked like she just came out of her kitchen.

thought would strangle her when she got flour from her hands and dress on my new passport.

so insane.

then she just like PEACED OUT.

was like YEAH. that's just fine.

go pull that baklava out of the oven.

her buffalo assistant stayed however;

asked for four dollars self had assumed was some sort of fee, however now have doubts after seeing him pocket the money.

probably went to quizno's right after i left.


so angry.